


You Left Me Here Behind

by NikAdair



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: College AU, kadashi family, klance angst, klance break up, music major keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 08:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17077301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikAdair/pseuds/NikAdair
Summary: “Lance?” he asked again, worry clear in his voice. Something told him this wasn’t right, that things were about to go wrong, but he couldn’t tell what. He felt his breathing start to pick up a little. The silence was becoming suffocating, unbearable. “Lance, please, talk to me. What happened? What’s going on?”Lance let out a choked sob, and he balled his fists. Keith watched as tears fell despite his efforts to compose himself. He took a breath and turned towards Keith, regret clear in his eyes. “I… I haven’t been honest with you Keith. There’s something I’ve kept from you for the past couple of months.” Keith felt his heart squeeze, and he bit his lip, waiting for Lance to continue.“I’ve been cheating on you,” Lance said, his voice barely audible.





	You Left Me Here Behind

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from a line from "You Said You'd Grow Old With Me" by Michael Shulte

Keith wrapped his blanket tighter around him, burying his face in the fabric. He could hear his alarm going off, but he really couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. It was so warm, and he was so tired. His eyes were heavy from having been up for so long already. So much had happened the night before, he still hadn’t processed it all.

He sat up, his head bowed and eyes half-lidded. Keith instinctually went to reach for his phone, but found it not on the bed. It took him a second to remember that he’d thrown it across the room last night. His eyes traveled to the where the wall met the floor. He couldn’t tell what damage had been done, but he guessed with how hard he threw it that the screen had to be cracked.

As much as he wanted to lay back down, the incessant noise of his alarm kept him from doing so. His feet hit the cold floor, and he shivered, padding over to his dresser. His upper body was engulfed in the warm sunlight coming in through the window, and he gave himself a second to bask in it. It seemed to loosen the knot he felt in his chest.

Keith jumped when he heard his phone go off, surprised that it was still alive. He was hesitant to check who had texted him, fear inching forward. A second text came, followed by a third. He realized that only one person would text him like that, and the fear faded away. He walked over and picked up his phone, shocked that the screen was intact, but not shocked to find Shiro texting him.

_Keith, are you still coming to breakfast? Come on, Adam is getting impatient. Is everything okay?_ Keith smiled a little, he always did when Shiro said anything about Adam. He was happy to see his brother happy. But thinking about having to tell him about last night chased the smile away. He didn’t want to tell him, but he knew he could help.

_Yeah, I over slept, give me a few minutes and I’ll be down._ He plugged his phone into the charger, seeing Shiro confirmation text. He looked up and saw his face in the mirror – dark circles under tired eyes, clear streaks of dried tears, disheveled hair. Keith frowned at his reflection, rubbing at his cheeks to try to get rid of the tear tracks. He only succeeded in making his cheeks red.

He threw on a maroon sweater and some black jeans before searching for his shoes. Everything from the time he got back to his room to when he finally go into bed was a blur, and he couldn’t remember where he’d kicked them. He checked under his bed and desk, checked the open closet door, but he couldn’t find them. Keith made a frustrated noise as he turned, spotting them haphazardly thrown against the dresser.

Pocketing his phone, he grabbed his wallet and keys and opened the door, the bright fluorescent lights blinding him for a second as he walked into the hall. He jogged downstairs and out the front door, the chilly morning air waking him up. Music poured out of Shiro’s car as Keith opened the door, sliding into the back seat.

“Morning there sunshine. Like the hair style,” Adam said as he turned around to look at him. Keith looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror and groaned, trying to desperately comb through his hair with his fingers. He heard Adam chuckle and rummage through the glove box, pulling out a hair tie. “Here, just put it up, it’ll be easier.”

Keith gave him a thankful smile as he tied his hair up, shivering a little as the cool air from the cracked window hit his neck. Adam noticed and closed the window, turning the heat up a little. “So, why did Keith “Always up Before the Sun” Kogane over sleep?” Adam asked. Keith, who was busy readjusting his sweater, froze for a second.

“Uh, I just stayed up too late is all,” Keith said. _Or all night._ Adam quirked an eyebrow at him. He was a bad liar as it was, but he knew that Adam knew he never stayed up too late unless he had a project due, and they knew he had nothing due. “It was a Friday night, I went out with some friends.”

Adam looked at him for a second longer before giving him a slow nod, turning back forward. Keith let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding and sank back into the seat. “So, you guys never told me where we were going for breakfast, want to tell me now?” Keith already knew that they were going out for his birthday, but they’d done a really good job at hiding where they were actually going.

“Can’t tell you that just yet. We may be going to breakfast, but it’s still not even eight. We’ve got a couple things to do before we go,” Shiro said as he shifted the car into drive. Keith groaned in frustration and he heard Shiro laugh. “I am not eating this early Keith. Screw your college schedule.”

“I’ll have you know that you made me eat this early when you were still in college,” Keith shot back. He just got a chuckle in return. Adam was no help in this argument, giving Keith a teasing look, so he settled with turning to watch the trees and buildings blur past them. At some point the radio was turned on, and of course it was classical music.

“How are you guys not ancient?” Keith asked, yawning. Though he had no room to talk - they were a family of music majors. Adam was a world class violinist and Shiro was a middle school band director, though he studied horn in school. Keith was torn between performing and teaching, but he was applied on clarinet. Keith never played classical music unless he was trying to sleep, so listening to this now was putting him to sleep.

“Wouldn’t need to play this if you had actually slept last night,” Adam said, reaching into the back to lay his coat over Keith. The familiar scent of his cologne was comforting, even if he would never tell him that. No matter how much he loved his family, he was never one to outwardly show it. But they knew without Keith having to show them.

“Oh shut up,” Keith said halfheartedly, yawning again and pulling the coat around him more. He leaned his head against the window, thankful they were on a smooth road, and let the music wash over him. It was calming, being surrounded by music and having Shiro and Adam there. It made him feel safe, and it wasn’t long before he had fallen asleep.

\---

When Keith woke up, they were still driving. He checked his phone and found it to have been an hour later. Adam’s coat had fallen off his shoulders, laying in a pile on his chest. There were bags on the floor behind the passenger seat, and when he looked up, he found that Shiro and Adam had traded places. He could smell coffee coming from the front seat, and he unintentionally let out a hum.

“Seems like Sleeping Beauty finally woke up,” Shiro said, turning to look at Keith, who promptly flipped him off. He got a laugh in return and he watched as Shiro leaned forward, taking one of the coffees and handing it Keith. There was no label on it, so he didn’t know what it was by sight. But the scent of peppermint was unmistakable.

“I’m surprised in your old age you remembered my favourite drink,” Keith joked as he took a sip of the drink, the warmth a welcome feeling. It made him remember happier times, back before college happened. Back when he didn’t have to deal with things he had to know. Back when the only things Keith had to worry about were high school and Adam.

\---

Keith had come home that day to the smell of burning and Shiro shouting. He dropped his bag on the floor and sprinted to the kitchen, where black smoke was starting to pour out of. He coughed and used the sleeve of his shirt to help keep from breathing it in. He saw Shiro coughing as he dropped a pan into the sink, running water over it.

“Shiro, what the hell?!” Keith yelled, walking over to him. Shiro turned, frustration clear on his face. Keith peeked around him to look in the sink, seeing charred steak drowning in rushing water, melted butter streaking out of the pan. It had stopped smoking, and it didn’t look like the pan was that hot anymore.

“I was trying to make a nice dinner,” Shiro mumbled as he ducked his head. “The vegetables!” he yelled as he sprinted over to the stove. Keith looked at him in confusion as he opened the oven door and more smoke came billowing out. A pan of completely blackened vegetables was pulled out and set on the stove top with a clatter as Shiro shut the oven.

“Yeah, real nice dinner you’ve got there. Drowned meat and charcoal vegetables,” Keith said, taking a fork and stabbing the steak. He scrunched his nose at the sound it made and let go of the fork, watching it slowly fall forward. Shiro shot him a dirty look as he scraped at the vegetables, trying to unstick them from the pan. “Did you even put oil on them before putting them in the oven?”

“No Keith, I just dumped a bag of frozen vegetables on here. Of course I did, I’m not that stupid.” Keith quirked an eyebrow, and Shiro shot him another dirty look before dropping the spatula on the pan. Keith sighed and moved away from the counter, going to the pantry and rummaging through it. He heard Shiro walk up behind him, looking over his shoulder.

“What exactly are you looking for?” he asked as Keith continued to search until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a few boxes of pasta and a jar of sauce. He moved past Shiro and placed them on the counter, going to the sink and opening the window. He stood there for a second breathing in the fresh air before moving to grab two pots from next to the stove.

“You can’t cook and I’m hungry, so I’m making pasta,” Keith said, taking the larger of the two pots and filling it with water and placing it on the stove. He salted the water and turn the heat on high so it could boil. He looked down at the pasta choices, debating between them before choosing plain spaghetti. Keith walked back over to the pantry and put the other boxes back where he’d gotten them from and rehid them.

He walked back to the stove, aware that Shiro was looking between him and the pantry. When he looked over him, he had his arms crossed, looking confused. “I buy myself food, it’s not that big a deal. You’re always busy with school and can’t cook anyway, so when you don’t order anything I make stuff.” Keith turned back to the now boiling water and poured the pasta into the pot. He grabbed the smaller one and dumped the jar of sauce into it.

“Well, I’m glad you-“ Shiro was cut off by the doorbell going off, and Keith saw his face light up. He opened his mouth to say something, but Shiro had already walked out of the room, messing with his shirt and trying to fix his hair. He heard the door open and a voice say something, but Keith couldn’t tell what. He wanted to look into the hall, but was too busy dealing with his almost boiled over pot.

“Keith, I want you to meet someone,” Shiro said, his voice having a hint of pride. Keith lowered the temperature of the pasta and turned, eyes scanning the visitor. He was tall, maybe a little taller than Shiro, and had a dark complexion. He wore angular glasses over brown eyes, and he had a mop of messy mousy brown hair. Keith crossed his arms as he looked at him.

“Hi, I’m Adam, it’s nice to meet you.” He went to shake Keith’s hand, but he kept his arms crossed. He looked between Adam and Shiro, eyes critical. Adam dropped his hand back, his smile turning a little awkward as Keith continued to look at him. He turned to look at Shiro, who gave Keith a look, one that told him _Knock it off and play nice._

“You’re the guy Shiro keeps talking to late at night,” Keith said nonchalantly. Shiro gaped and looked between Adam and Keith, clearly embarrassed as was evident by the bright red rising on his cheeks. He sputtered trying, to say something, and Adam started laughing. Keith frowned, eyes narrowing a little.

“I didn’t realize that Shiro kept you up,” Adam said, wiping a tear from his eye from laughing so much. Shiro’s face was bright red and he’d resigned himself to hiding his face in his hands. “I’m sorry I’m the reason he does talk to so much.” Keith debated between saying anything, but was saved from having to as the sauce started to boil, droplets of dark red splashing every.

He was quick to turn the heat off, taking the ladle and stirring the sauce to make sure it hadn’t started to burn. It was only after he’d determined that the sauce was okay that he turned back to Shiro and Adam. Shiro still had his face hidden, and Adam was watching Keith curiously. He didn’t like being looked at like that, and he scowled at Adam.

“Shiro, I thought you said you were making dinner tonight,” Adam said, turning to look at him. Keith saw him stiffen a little and had to bit his lip to keep from laughing. The embarrassed look he had on his face was priceless, and Keith wished he had his phone with him. That was a look he rarely go to see.

“I, um, well, you see-“ Shiro sputtered, his face going red again as he tried to explain. Adam starting laughing again as Shiro tried, and failed, to get any coherent sentences out. Keith, being the brother he was, just pointed at the sink. Adam walked over, Shiro looking on in horror, and looked inside, laughing even harder. Shiro looked mortified and turned to look at Keith angrily.

“If you think that’s funny, you should look at his attempt at cooking vegetables,” Keith said nonchalantly, pushing the now cooled pan across the counter towards Adam. He turned back to the stove and poured the sauce on the noodles as Adam howled with laughter. He didn’t need to see Shiro’s face to tell he was furious, but knew he wouldn’t do anything with Adam there.

Keith finished making dinner and grabbed a bowl, spooning a large portion of the pasta into it. He grabbed a fork and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Shiro to stand there embarrassedly as Adam laughed. He climbed the stairs and walked to his room, closing the door behind him. It didn’t do much to deaden the noise from the kitchen, but it did make him feel better.

Despite having made food, his appetite had disappeared. He sighed and put the bowl on his dresser, grabbing his laptop on his way to his bed. The fairy lights danced across the screen as he opened it, and for a second music came blaring out of it. Keith jumped, quickly pressing the mute button, feeling dumb for having forgotten that he hadn’t paused Spotify.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been on Netflix, he just knew that when someone knocked on his door the sun had started to set. Keith paused it, a little annoyed at someone interrupting him. He frowned as he opened the door, finding Adam there. That smile was still there, and despite everything in him telling him to hate Adam, that smile made it almost impossible. It reminded him too much of Shiro.

“You’re a pretty good cook, you know that? That pasta was really good,” Adam said, leaning against the door frame. Keith stood there silent, not really knowing what to say. He’d heard Shiro say that to him, but he’d never heard some stranger tell him that. “If you ever want to learn to cook other things, I can help with that. I’ve heard the food I make is the best.” Adam laughed a little. “Then again, that was being compared to Shiro’s food, so I can’t say it really is the best.”

That made Keith smile a little. People were always telling him to stop teasing his brother so much. But finding someone who teased him too? Now that was rare. He was hesitant to like Adam – the last person Shiro had been in a relationship with had broken his heart so badly that it took him months to be okay again. Since then, Keith had been cold to people that showed interest in Shiro.

But Adam… something about him made Keith think that he could grow to like him. From what he’d seen tonight, Shiro seemed genuinely happy, and Adam seemed like a good guy. “We’re gonna head out to get some ice cream if you want to join. I know it’d mean a lot to Shiro if you did.” It was a casual comment, nothing in there alluding to Adam trying to guilt Keith into going. Maybe that’s why he agreed to go.

Keith walked downstairs behind Adam, and when Shiro saw them, a huge smile spread across his face. Keith stuck his tongue out at him, but let him wrap an arm around his shoulder. Affection wasn’t something that Keith often accepted, but tonight seemed like one of those nights where he needed to let Shiro hug him.

“So, we already to go?” Shiro asked, letting Keith out of the hug. He looked to Adam, who winked at him. Keith stood there confused as Adam walked up to Shiro. His first thought was they were going to kiss. But he knew he was wrong when his hand snaked around and grabbed Shiro’s keys, running out the door.

“Hey! Adam! Give me my keys!” he yelled as he ran after him. Keith followed after, standing on the porch. Adam had already made it into the yard, and when he saw Shiro, he took off for the car. He’d made it to the passenger side, and Shiro was standing on the driver’s side, eyeing Adam. Every time he would make a move to run around the car, Shiro would follow, trying to cut him off.

Adam saw Keith, and an evil smile spread across his face. “Catch!” he yelled as he threw the keys to Keith. Shiro watched as they flew through the air, and Keith caught them, just in time to see Adam sneak up behind Shiro and tackle him into the grass. Shiro tried to wrestle his way out from underneath him, but Adam had a solid grip on him.

“I’ll get up if you let Keith drive,” Adam said, a challenging look in his eyes. Keith’s own eyes widened in surprise. He had his license and he had his own car. But Shiro rarely let him drive his car. He could see how torn Shiro was, torn between complying with Adam’s demands or trying to wrestle himself out from underneath. With a defeated sigh he nodded, and Adam broke out into a huge smile.

“You heard the man, let’s go!” Keith darted upstairs, grabbing his wallet, and by the time he got back outside, Adam and Shiro were standing against the car. Shiro had a slight frown, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Keith could see the happiness he felt, and something in him made him smile. Keith made sure to keep hidden as he hit the alarm button, watching as both of them jumped. He walked onto the porch and laughed.

“That’s what you get,” Keith said, moving around them to get into the car. It was weird, Shiro was taller than him, so he had to adjust the seat. He started the car, and old music started playing. Keith messed with the radio knobs as they got in – Adam practically dragged Shiro out of the front seat. Adam looked at Keith and took control of the radio, tuning it to a station that surprisingly had music that Keith liked.

“Adam, no, this station is horrible,” Shiro whined, leaning his head on the back of Adam’s seat. Adam just shook his head, pushing Shiro’s head back. Keith smiled, feeling that burst of laughter coiling in his chest. Shiro sat back, crossing his arms and frowning.

“Keith doesn’t seem to think so. Do you Keith?” Keith shook his head, turning to look at Shiro as he started singing along with the music. Adam laughed and joined with him, and Keith saw the betrayal that spread across Shiro’s face. It made him start laughing, so that point that he had to turn back around and lean his head against the steering wheel.

They sat there in the car like that – Keith and Adam laughing so hard they were in tears, Shiro pouting the back seat – for a few minutes as Keith tried to calm down. He wiped tears from his face as he was able to breathe again. He was lightheaded and giddy, since it’d been a while since he’d laughed like that. He expected see Shiro frowning when he looked in the rearview mirror, but instead he saw him smiling fondly at them.

Keith ended up letting Shiro drive, too scared to drive Shiro’s car. He laid across the back seat, ignoring Shiro’s pleas for him to sit up. He was tired – he’d had school all day and then just laughed like a maniac for a good five minutes. Shiro made it his point to try to fling Keith off the seat at every stop. But he was good at making sure to it up whenever a stop was coming up (it helped that Adam would tell him).

He was honestly surprised at how easily his opinion of Adam had changed in just a few hours. Shiro seemed genuinely happy, and Adam seemed like such a great person. Keith had to admit that he’d taken a liking to him, and was glad that Shiro had found someone who made him happy, and someone that Keith didn’t feel like he had to fight to keep them from hurting Shiro.

\---

Keith was snapped out of his thoughts by Shiro waving a hand in front of his face. He blinked and shook his head a little. “You still with us Keith?” he asked, slight worry in his eyes. He felt his face flush and laughed embarrassedly. He laced his fingers together around the cup, tapping them a little along with the music.

“Yeah, sorry, just lost in thought,” Keith said, taking a drink of his now cool coffee. He wrinkled his nose a little, but continued to drink it. He liked the sweetness of the melted whipped cream and the cool taste of peppermint, it mixed well with the chocolatey taste of the mocha, even if the drink was no longer warm.

Shiro continued to give him that worried look. “What were you thinking about?” Keith knew that tone – the carefully planned calm that was meant to keep him from freaking out. Shiro had used it on him plenty of times, especially during late night calls when Keith could be on the verge of a breakdown. He bit his lip, keeping his cool at hearing it used when it wasn’t needed.

“Nothing really. I was thinking about the day I met Adam,” Keith said, trying to keep his voice from sounding defensive. “I don’t know, things have been crazy.” His voice was quiet as he said the second part, not really knowing why he’d said it. He bit his lip, looking down at his cup. His grip tightened, and he could feel the slight indentations he was making in the cup.

He felt Shiro’s hand on his knee, and he looked up. Keith could tell without Shiro saying anything that if he wanted to tell him, he would be there to listen. He knew the same went for Adam, that he’d be there to listen as well. His chest tightened a little, his eyes stinging. Keith wanted to tell them, but he didn’t really know how to. Not without breaking down.

Keith took a deep breath, willing the tears to not fall. His throat felt tight every time he went to talk, and he could feel the stinging getting worse, to the point that tears had already formed in his eyes. He couldn’t look up at Shiro, couldn’t stand to see the sadness in his eyes that he knew was there. His heart hurt, and he knew he had to tell him, to tell someone how he felt. His voice was barely audible as he spoke.

\---

Keith was standing in front of his mirror, a maroon dress shirt in one hand and a brighter red one in the other. He was seeing how each looked with his black jeans, swapping one out for the other. He was always one for darker colours, but knew that Lance always liked to see him in brighter ones. “You wear so many dark colours that you look like a vampire,” he’d told him once.

He frowned at his reflection, sighing. Keith tossed the shirts onto his desk and grabbed his phone, starting up Spotify as he sat on his bed. Music started playing, and Keith softly sang along. It was second nature to him, to always be singing – it came with being a music major. He sometimes wondered how Lance put up with his antics.

He flopped on his back, his phone to his side, and he closed his eyes. He had an hour before he was supposed to meet Lance and he couldn’t even decide what shirt to wear. His phone started ringing, cutting off the song that was playing, and Keith scowled for a second for recognizing the ringtone. A soft smile spread across his face as he answered the phone.

“Hey love,” he said happily. Talking to Lance always made him smile. Though he was confused as to why he was calling him. They were going to see each other in an hour. It was quiet on the other end, and that worried Keith. Lance was never quiet, not unless something was bothering him. His worry made him sit up, pulling his legs onto the bed. “Lance?”

“Wear the maroon shirt,” Lance said, his voice quiet. That alone would’ve been enough to cause panic to flare up inside him. But the fact that his voice was quiet, almost sullen, tipped Keith over. His mind was racing as he went over everything that he’d said throughout the day, trying to figure out what could’ve been wrong.

“Is everything okay Lance?” Keith asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He heard shuffling on the other end before it was quiet. There was whispering, one voice sounding angry, before a heavy sigh was sent into the call. Keith bit his lip, his worry overtaking his rational thinking.

“It’s fine. I’ll see you in an hour.” Lance hung up, leaving Keith there worried and on the verge of panicking. He pulled his phone away from his ear, looking at it as he battled with himself on whether he should call him back or not. Lance had moments where he couldn’t talk to Keith without getting upset at him. He hope this was one of those times.

Worry ate at him as he finished getting ready. He didn’t like knowing that something was wrong with Lance and that he couldn’t tell him. It made him anxious, and he hated feeling like that. He kept checking his phone, hoping he’d get a text from him, but the only text he got was Lance telling him he was there. He pocketed him phone and grabbed his keys, heading down to meet him.

He walked outside and was met with the brisk night air. A full moon illuminated the sky, making the stars around it seem dull. Even with the street lights, the moon seemed to shine brighter, bathing everything in a silver light. Had worry not been in his system, Keith would’ve enjoyed seeing everything like this.

Keith saw Lance’s car running idle nearby. Sadness crept at the edge of his mind at seeing Lance sitting in the car, since he was normally leaning against it waiting for him. He bit his lip as he walked over to the car, getting in. It was quiet, which again set off alarms. Lance always had music playing, was never quiet unless he had to be. It was one of the things he loved about him.

“So, what do you have planned for tonight?” Keith asked, breaking the silence. He looked at Lance, but he seemed to refuse to look at him. He stayed quiet, and Keith couldn’t read the look he had. It seemed angry, sad, and regretful. It made something inside of Keith twist painfully. “Is something wrong Lance?” he asked in a soft voice, turning his entire body to face him.

Lance continued to look forward, but Keith could see that tears had started forming in his eyes. He reached a hand over, placing it onto of one of Lance’s, hoping it would help. But Lance pulled his away, tucking his hands into his lap. Keith did his best to not let that hurt him as he pulled his hand back, trying to decipher the look Lance had.

“Lance?” he asked again, worry clear in his voice. Something told him this wasn’t right, that things were about to go wrong, but he couldn’t tell what. He felt his breathing start to pick up a little. The silence was becoming suffocating, unbearable. “Lance, please, talk to me. What happened? What’s going on?”

Lance let out a choked sob, and he balled his fists. Keith watched as tears fell despite his efforts to compose himself. He took a breath and turned towards Keith, regret clear in his eyes. “I… I haven’t been honest with you Keith. There’s something I’ve kept from you for the past couple of months.” Keith felt his heart squeeze, and he bit his lip, waiting for Lance to continue.

“I’ve been cheating on you,” Lance said, his voice barely audible. “I’ve been seeing someone else. Someone who makes me so incredibly happy. Someone who I see myself being with for a long, long time.” Every word that Lance said seemed to stab his chest, leave him gasping for air. Every word that he said seemed to chip at his head, making the crack larger and larger.

“You’ve been so amazing, so loving, and you’ve made me so happy. But we… we were never meant to last, even I knew that. We’re too different, and you always seemed so involved in your class work. It was like you never had time for me. Even when we had time, it was always music with you.” Keith could hear bitterness in his voice, and that tore at his heart more than what he’d already said.

“I can’t stay with someone who does this. I… I’m so happy with her Keith, I’m so so happy with her.” Lance looked up at Keith, his eyes pleading as tears glistened. Keith’s heart raced, his breathing picking up. He felt his own tears forming, threatening to fall. “You deserve better, someone who understands music, someone who understands you.”

No, that’s not true. You do that. I don’t need anyone else. I need you. Keith’s thoughts were racing, fear invading his mind. Please Lance, please don’t do this. He couldn’t his mouth to say any of the things he wanted to say. It was like he was trapped in his head, his body reacting to what he heard, but not being to say anything.

“You’ve been so amazing, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you.” You haven’t! Don’t say that! “And I love you, I really do. But I love her more...” he trailed off, sounding so sullen. Keith felt his own tears falling, hot streaks down his cheeks. His heart hurt, beyond anything he’d felt. “This is where our story ends Keith.” That was what sent him spiraling, what finally broke him.

Sobs ripped out of his throat, heart wrenching cries that made even Lance wince. Keith couldn’t think, his body moving on instinct. His hands clawed at the door, tearing it open as he all but fell out of the car. His chest heaved as he righted himself, practically sprinting to get inside. The wind bit at his face where tears streaked, leaving his cheeks feeling icy.

Part of him hoped that Lance would follow, say that everything he said had been a joke. But he knew that he wouldn’t. Knew that Lance had meant every word he said. The whispering he heard, he guessed that had been who Lance was talking about, the girl who taken him away from him. That thought turned his sadness into anger.

He got back to his room, and as soon as the door closed, he screamed. He swiped books from his desk and threw pillows against the wall. He threw his phone, not caring what happened to it. He kicked his shoes off, loud thumps sounding as they hit his dresser. A second round of sobs ripped through him as he sank to the floor, his anger fading into anguish again.

The tears never stopped, his heart feeling as though it had been ripped out of his chest. Every moment he’d had with him, every night they’d spent laughing and smiling, all he could think about was how they were all a lie. How every word Lance had told him had been a lie. He wailed as he clutched at his chest, head bowed as tears fell, pooling on his jeans.

He didn’t know how long he’d sat there crying. His throat hurt, and his eyes were so heavy. His mind was numb and his heart ached. His movements were slow as he picked his pillows up, tossing them onto the bed. He didn’t bother changing, just taking off the maroon shirt before he followed his pillows.

He wrapped himself in his blanket, the words that Lance told him circling in his head over and over. New tears formed and fell, and he felt his heart break more. Nothing he did could make it stop. He laid there, crying until he couldn’t cry anymore. But he didn’t fall asleep – his thoughts wouldn’t allow him to.

\---

During the time that Keith had told his story, Adam had pulled off the road at a gas station, and both him and Shiro had moved into the back seat. Shiro had an arm wrapped around his shoulder and he had his face in his chest. Adam had hugged from the other side, leaving Keith crying in the middle. His hands were balled on his lap, Adam having taken the almost crushed coffee cup from him.

His heart hurt again, much like it had last night. He could tell he was soaking the front of Shiro’s shirt, but he couldn’t move. Something in him wouldn’t let him move away. Maybe it was the warmth that he and Adam had, maybe it was the fact that they made him feel like things would be okay. Whatever the reason, he was relieved to have told them, even if it ended up hurting again.

They sat like that for a while, Adam and Shiro there hugging Keith as he cried. They didn’t say anything, but they didn’t need to. Keith knew that they would do anything to protect him, and he imagined that they were plotting how to get back at Lance for what he’d done. That thought should’ve made him happier, knowing they’d do whatever they needed to, but it only made him sadder.

He loved Lance, even after last night. His heart felt so broken and so empty without him. He couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand feeling like this. When he and Lance had first started dating, Keith had told him that he was scared – scared that Lance would fall out of love with him. But he’d reassured him that that would never happen. What a fool he’d been to believe him.

Keith felt bad for having cried for so long, and he forced himself to stop, to breath and calm down. He pulled away from Shiro, his head bowed as he looked at his hands. He didn’t really know what to say, didn’t know if he needed to say anything. Adam squeezed his shoulder and moved back into the driver’s seat. Shiro gave him one last look, his eyes asking if he was okay, and Keith nodded. Shiro gave him a small smile and got back in the passenger’s seat.

Keith took a few more deep breaths to completely settle himself, and laughed when Shiro passed him a handful of napkins. “You know, you’re lucky I brought an extra sweater. You got snot all of over this one,” Shiro said, laughing as Keith blew his nose, throwing the napkin at him. It just barely missed, settling onto the floor, but it made Keith laugh again.

Adam smirked and changed the station to one Keith knew Shiro didn’t like, and he looked into the mirror catching his eye. Keith could see the devilish look he had and smiled, both of them going into a bought of bad singing. Shiro groaned, covering his ears and trying to get to the radio. Keith leapt forward, covering the knobs as he kept singing, Adam laughing too much to continue singing.

Keith eventually devolved into laughter, and even Shiro joined in, unable to keep up the unamused brother act. It was one of those rare moments that Keith felt lucky to have the family he had. Things had been rough when his dad had died, and hadn’t really smoothed out until Shiro graduated. But having him and Adam there, it made his heart feel lighter for the first time that day. It let him forget about his heartache he’d been feeling, and focus on something that made him smile.

\---

Keith shouldn’t have been surprised when they ended up going to his favourite place for breakfast. They got there and Keith just started laughing. Adam and Shiro were confused at first, but ended up smiling at him, glad to see he was feeling better. He felt lighter, like he was able to enjoy his birthday. A brief thought of what today should’ve been passed through his head, and he felt his smile drop for a second. But he shook his head, tossing the thought away.

He was determined to have a good birthday. Shiro wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulder, pulling him along inside. Adam followed a couple minutes after, coming in with a few gift bags. Keith laughed, sitting in the booth. “You guys seriously didn’t have to get me anything. Just being able to spend time you is enough.”

Adam shook his head as he sat across from him, putting the bags on the table. Shiro settled in next to him, and Keith tried to snatch at the bags. Despite his protests, he really did like getting gifts – he never really got any before he started living with Shiro. Adam pulled them way, leaving Keith leaning halfway on the table, trying to grab them.

“It may be your birthday, but you’re not getting these until after we eat,” he said, setting them in the seat next to him instead. Keith gave one last attempt to grab them before leaning back into his seat with a huff. Shiro chuckled a little, and despite his efforts to keep scowling, he couldn’t help but smile. Damn Shiro and his ability to always make him smile.

Keith guessed they had called their order in ahead of time, because they weren’t there long before they had their food. He laughed at the cheesy message that was written on his pancakes – _Happy Birthday to our Virtuoso!! Keep on squeaking your way through school!!_ He’d never been much for taking pictures of his food, but this message was too perfect for him not.

“Even the great Kogane can’t resist taking pictures of his food! I told he would Shiro, you owe me $5,” Adam said, laughing a little. Keith looked up at him, his eyes narrowed a little as Shiro pulled his wallet out, handing Adam the money.

“You guys bet on whether I would take a picture of this?” he asked, turning back to snap a few pictures before putting his phone away. He was aware of the multiple texts he’d gotten from Lance, and while his heart hurt seeing them, he hid that pain to look back at them. Adam had a triumphant grin while Shiro had a sheepish look.

“When we called in the order, Adam insisted that we have them write that. I told him there was no way that would get you to finally take a picture of your food, but he said it totally would. The bet was his idea,” Shiro said, his eyes searching his face. Keith looked away for a second, swiping at his eyes and faking a yawn to give him an excuse to do so.

“Still,” his voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat, taking a drink of his coffee, scrunching his nose at the bitterness, “I can’t believe you bet on that, when there are much better things to bet on.” He grabbed a few packets of sugar and dumped them into his coffee. It helped a little, but still left it tasting bitter. Why he always ordered coffee, he’d never know.

Shiro looked at him for a second longer, and Keith was about to say something when he felt his phone ringing. He took it out and saw Lance’s picture on the screen. Part of him screamed to leave it, that he didn’t deserve to talk to him. But another part was curious to hear what he had to say after last night, and that part won out.

“I’ll be back, I need to answer this,” he rushed out, turning and practically running out of the restaurant. “What do you want Lance?” His voice cracked again, this time with anger, as he answered. There was silence on the other end, and that seemed to make him angrier. “What do you want Lance?” he said again, this time with more bite to his words.

He heard him clear his throat and there was the shuffle of his phone from one hand to the other. “I was worried, you weren’t answering my texts.” Keith could hear the hurt in his voice, and he balled his free hand, feeling it shake a little. “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and make sure you were okay.”

Keith bit his lip to keep from yelling. It surprised him that instead of feeling sadness, he felt anger, and maybe it was because he’d cried so much in the past day or maybe it was because he wanted to have a good day with his family. But whatever the reason, he had to keep his anger in check.

“Is that all?” His voice was clipped, and he could mentally see Lance flinch. He crossed his free arm across his chest and squeezed hard. It was silent for a minute, and Keith was close to ending the call when Lance spoke again.

“Are we still up for tonight?” he said in a small voice. He could hear the hesitation in his voice, could hear the slight tinge of sadness. That’s what tipped Keith over the edge of staying calm. He didn’t think before he spoke, his mind going on autopilot.

“I don’t know, don’t you have plans with your girlfriend?” he growled. He started to feel that pain in his chest again, and instead of pushing it away, he used to fuel his anger. “I thought she was more important than me, someone you threw away. Must have been convenient to move on to her, since you’d been in love with her for so long, wasn’t it?”

There was silence on the other end, and even though he only waited a few seconds, it was long enough. “Good bye Lance.” He hung up, not waiting for an answer, and turned his phone on silent. Keith hadn’t noticed the tears that had started falling and he took a second to calm down before he walked back inside. Both Adam and Shiro looked up at him as he sat back down.

“Is everything okay Keith?” Adam asked in a concerned voice. Keith sighed loudly, crossing his arms and laying his head on them. He heard movement and felt someone sit next to him. He looked to the side a little and saw Shiro.

“No, Lance called and I may have blown up on him,” he said in a muffled voice. He felt Shiro wrap an arm around his shoulder and let himself be pulled into a hug. Keith kept his gaze on the table, not wanting to look at either of them. His anger had faded, and he felt sadness starting to creep in. The longer Shiro hugged him, the sadder he felt, and he pulled away.

“It’s fine, let’s just eat,” he mumbled, stabbing into his pancakes. He didn’t want to deal with their pitying looks right now, and he knew he was being unfair to them with how he was acting. But he also knew himself, knew that he’d get angry again to stop from feeling sad. Shiro got up and moved back to sit next to Adam.

He could hear them talking, but he really couldn’t figure out what they were saying. Keith was stuck in his head. He’d lost his appetite, and just the thought of eating made him feel sick. This wasn’t how he wanted today to go. All he’d wanted was a good day with his family. And Lance had to go and ruin that. To ruin everything he’d planned for the coming years.

Promises they’d made to each other gone, all because he fell in love with a girl. Was he really not good enough to be loved? Was he really that replaceable? Keith thought back to the times that they’d hung out and Lance had been on his phone. Was he texting her then? He heard a short laugh come from himself at the thought that he’d been so oblivious to everything.

He hadn’t really noticed he’d started crying again until Shiro was offering him a napkin. He swiped at his cheeks angrily, pushing the torn pancakes away. He tipped his head forward and balled his hands in his lap. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t cry anymore. Promised himself that while he was with Adam and Shiro he’d be happy and ignore everything with Lance.

Keith could see people looking at him from other tables, and his anxiety got the better of him. He rushed out of the restaurant and ran to the car. It was one of those times he was thankful Adam kept it unlocked all the time. He curled up in the back seat and cried. It wasn’t long before they followed him, but he really didn’t care. His heart hurt too much at that moment for him to care.

He heard the car start, and it was a silent drive. Keith stayed curled up, tears slowly drying on cheeks. There was a wet spot on the seat from his tears, and he felt a pang of guilt. None of this had been their fault, and yet he was ruining their morning. That made new tears form and fall, and he wrapped his sweater tighter around himself to try to calm himself down.

He guessed that they’d take him back to his dorm – it’s what he would’ve done. But when he looked out the window, he recognized the houses they passed. Keith sat up, rubbing at his eyes. “Why are you going back home?” he asked, his voice breaking a little from having cried. Shiro turned to face him, and Keith couldn’t read the look on his face.

“I think being home for the weekend would be good for you,” he said softly. Keith wanted to protest, saying he didn’t even have his stuff, but Shiro shook his head, holding up a bag. “We went back to the dorm and grabbed your stuff while you were asleep earlier. We wanted to surprise you, because we know how much you miss being home. But I think having you home would be best for you.”

Keith was too drained to fight back, so he nodded and laid back down on the seat. It was hard to keep his eyes open – a combination of having cried and having only slept while in the car. He was determined to not fall asleep. At least, until they got home. He needed one thing to go right today.

\---

Keith went to his room as soon as they got home. Shiro tried to stop him, but Adam stood between them, giving Keith time to go upstairs. He could hear Shiro and Adam talking downstairs, and should have felt guilty. But he was too tired to feel anything. He walked to his bed, curling up under the blanket and pulling out his phone.

There were a few more texts from Lance, but Keith swiped them away. He couldn’t bring himself to read them. He thought that after snapping at him earlier he’d feel better, less like his world was crashing around him. But it was the opposite – he felt like he was free falling without a parachute, and every second he spent thinking about Lance he felt like the ground came flying closer.

He was tired – mentally, physically, emotionally tired. He needed to sleep, but so many things were going through his head that it was impossible for him to sleep. Keith couldn’t keep his eyes open, but couldn’t just his mind off either. It was an endless loop, and eventually he settled with staring at the ceiling, watching as the sun moved across it.

There was a knock at his door sometime later, and Keith rolled over, facing the wall. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, just wanted to be alone. He didn’t really get that option, as whoever was at the door came in, footsteps hesitant. He closed his eyes, and felt the bed dip as someone sat behind him. It was quiet for a second before the person spoke.

“Takashi’s worried about you, you know. He’s never seen you like this,” Adam said. Keith tugged the blanket closer to his chest, burying his face in it. “He’s worried that Lance did more than just break up with you.” Keith felt Adam place a hand on his shoulder, and Keith buried himself further into his blanket. “Keith, please, I know it's hard breaking up with someone you love, but please, you need to talk to us. We can help.”

Keith looked at him with a slight glare. “What do you know about heartbreak? You’ve been with Shiro for years and nothing bad has happened. _How can you help?_ ” he spat, anger clouding his mind. He saw the sympathy leave Adam’s eyes, and watched as he pulled his hand away. Guilt washed over him and he sat up, pushing himself into the corner of the bed.

“Adam, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry,” he stammered, trying to fix things. Adam looked hurt and angry, and Keith watched as he looked away, standing up. He hesitated between grabbing his sleeve and not, and Adam took a few steps towards the door. He stopped before he walked out.

“Things haven’t all been good between me and Takashi. There was a time where I didn’t think we’d be together,” Adam whispered, walking out of his room. Keith bit his lip, trying to process everything – his stupidity and the way he acted, the way Adam responded, what he said. He watched Adam round the corner of the hall, and heard his footsteps as traveled downstairs. Keith sank back against the wall, burying his face in his blanket.

“Way to go Keith, pushing your family away. How stupid can you be?” he mumbled to himself, pushing the blanket away from him. He shivered as the cold air hit him, and he hugged his sweater tighter around him. He knew he needed to apologize to Adam, knew Shiro would be angry with him if he didn’t. But he didn’t know what to say. He still didn’t understand what Adam had meant.

He walked to the stairs, stopping when he heard Adam and Shiro talking. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it Adam. He’s had a rough night and day, he doesn’t really know what he’s saying,” he heard Shiro say. He sat on the stairs, closing his eyes and resting it on his knees.

“You weren’t up there Takashi. You didn’t see the look in his eyes or hear the anger in his voice.” He pictured them standing in the living room, Adam with his back to the hallway and his arms crossed, and Shiro standing across from him, both hands out in a calming gesture.

“Adam, it’s not his fault. He didn’t-“

“Didn’t what Takashi? Didn’t mean to hurt me? Didn’t mean to make me remember?” Adam sounded angry, more than just his teasing anger. He sounded like his anger was about to boil over, and it made Keith wince.

“Adam, that’s not-“

“Don’t Takashi. Just, don’t.” Adam voices got quiet, and Keith couldn’t tell if they were even talking anymore. He stood, walking down the stairs. He chanced a glance into the living room, and saw Adam about to walk out, with Shiro reaching to grab his arm. Keith looked away, walking out the front door. He heard Shiro call his name, but he ignored it, his walk turning into a run. He had to get away, before he ruined more than just his own life.

\---

It wasn’t long before his lungs started to hurt, the cold air burning his throat. He slowed to a walk, and looked around him. He’d found his way to a park, one he hadn’t visited in months. He walked over to the swings, sitting on the furthest one. As he swung, he closed his eyes, letting his memories wash over him. The last time he was there, he had gone with Lance for a summer date.

It was early morning when Keith woke up to someone knocking on the front door. He groaned, rolling to face the wall. _Adam or Shiro will get it,_ he thought before remembering they were gone for the week for a music conference. Keith sighed, sitting up. The morning light coming in through his window blinded him, and he squinted as he stood.

Dressed in a black tank top and maroon shorts, Keith padded downstairs, not bothering to fix his hair. The hall was brighter, and he put a hand on the wall so he could find the door despite not being able to see. He rubbed at his eyes and cracked one open as he opened the door. He was met with a bouquet daisies and a shadow behind them.

“Morning there Sunshine, love what you’ve done with your hair,” the shadow said. Keith’s half asleep brain took a minute to comprehend what was said, and he rubbed at his eyes again. “Quit that, you’re giving yourself bags.” Keith looked at the shadow again, details slowly coming into focus as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight.

Short chocolate brown hair, caramel coloured skin, wide set shoulders and a sharp jaw. Freckles spread across a curved nose, ocean blue eyes, and a soft smile. He was tall, lanky yet muscular. He wore a dark blue tank top that showed off the muscles in his arms and shoulders, and black skinny jeans that defined his legs well. Had Keith not know who it was, he would’ve contemplated flirting with the stranger.

“Lance? What are you doing here?” Keith said, his voice a little raspy from sleep. He leaned against the open door, yawning, as he looked at Lance. He couldn’t believe he was there. He was still supposed to be home for another couple weeks. Yet here he was, standing outside Keith’s door. He felt his heart flutter a little, and felt himself smiling even before Lance said anything.

“I convinced my parents to let me come back early. I’m staying with Hunk. I actually got back an hour ago, so I thought I’d see my favourite boy,” Lance said, that goofy smile Keith loved on his face. He took the daisies from Lance and let him walk in. He breathed in the scent of the flowers as Lance walked into the living room. Keith went to the kitchen to grab a vase, setting it on the counter.

Keith walked back to the living room, finding Lance stretched out on the couch. He was on his phone, and looked up when he heard Keith. He smiled at him, and Keith laid on top of him. Lance chuckled a little, wrapping his arms around his waist. Keith looked up at him, yawning a little. Lance smiled back at him, laughing a little.

“Looks like someone is tired,” he teased, tightening his hold on him. Keith playfully hit Lance’s chest, burying his face in his shirt. The smell of Lance’s cologne brought a smile to Keith’s face, a scent that reminded him of what he had.

“I wouldn’t be tired had someone not knocked on my door before nine,” Keith said, his voice muffled as he spoke into Lance’s chest. Lance laughed quietly, more a rumble in his chest than a noise. Keith closed his eyes, melting into the warmth that came from him.

“How about we take a nap then? We can do something after lunch, sound good?” Lance whispered. Keith nodded, turning his head to the side. He felt Lance kiss the top of his head as he closed his eyes, and he let out a happy sigh. Lance shifted a little underneath him, and Keith fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.

He woke up to sunlight streaming in through the windows. He was alone on the couch, and he was under a blanket. Keith heard music coming from the kitchen and he sat up sleepily. He yawned as he stood, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. The cold floor caused him to shiver, and he walked into the kitchen. Lance was standing in front of the stove, his phone sitting on the counter next to him.

Keith stood in the doorway watching him. Lance sang along softly to his music, his hips swaying back and forth with the beat. He was cooking what Keith assumed to be grilled cheese, as the bread and cheese was on the counter near the sink. Every so often Lance would pause and bob his head a little as he got into the music. Keith smiled at him.

Lance turned, pan in hand, and froze for a second when he saw Keith. There was a slight blush on his face, and Keith couldn’t help but giggle a little. “I, uh, wanted to make you lunch, because, you know…” Lance trailed off, his face getting redder. Keith giggled again, walking over to him. He took the pan from Lance and placed it back on the stove, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“I think it’s really sweet you wanted to Lance,” he whispered, looking up at him. Lance smiled, wrapping his arms around his waist. Keith leaned up a little and gave Lance a quick kiss before spinning out of his arms, the blanket sweeping out behind him. Lance tilted his a little as he watched him, and Keith gave a quick wink before walking back to the living room.

He settled back onto the couch and heard the clatter of plates before seeing Lance walk into the living room, sitting next to him. He’d been right when he guessed Lance was making grilled cheese, and hummed happily. Keith leaned into Lance’s side as he ate, the blanket the only thing keeping them from touching.

“The famous McClain grilled cheese, one of his specialties,” Keith said around a bite, causing Lance to laugh. He was actually really good at cooking, having been friends with Hunk for most of his life, and really had a knack for desserts. For their six month anniversary, he’d made cream cheese filled red velvet cupcakes and, with the help of Hunk, got them decorated to make a heart within the box, with “You fill my life with colour” written on top. Keith still had the picture of it on his phone.

“Next time I’ll have to cook something better. I’m thinking dinner date later in the week?” Lance said nonchalantly, as though he weren’t saying something that made Keith’s heart flutter. He had a soft spot for dinner dates with Lance, and especially if he was cooking. He’d always sit on the counter and watch him cook, sometimes singing for him, other times listening to Lance talk about his day.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Keith said softly, placing the now empty plate on the floor. Lance stacked his on top of it and hugged Keith. He turned into the embrace, smiling as he did. He could live in Lance’s arms for the rest of his life and be content.

“So, I did have something planned for today. So how about you get changed while I do the dishes?” Lance said, leaning back a little to look at Keith. Keith nodded, and Lance stood, offering him a hand. He pulled him to his feet, and Keith gave him a quick peck before heading upstairs. He heard the sink running and music playing again as he got to his room.

Keith stood in front of his closet, looking for a pair of jeans. He'd thrown them in a pile somewhere, but couldn't remember where. He eventually found them hidden under a pile of shirts he had yet to put away. He put them on, jumping a little get them over his calves. He didn’t really know if Lance had planned something where he could get away with wearing a tee or not, but he was always good about telling Keith when he needed to dress up.

He walked downstairs a few minutes later in black ripped skinny jeans and a Marvel tee, seeing Lance waiting by the door. He was looking at his phone, so he didn’t notice Keith come down the stairs. Keith peeked at his screen, and Lance jumped a little, turning his phone off. Keith tilted his head curiously as he looked up at him, but Lance just smiled back, taking his hand.

“Looking as handsome as ever,” Lance said, pocketing his phone. Keith blushed a little, a small smile forming. “Come on, I have the perfect place to spend the day.” He opened the door, holding it for Keith as he walked out before following, taking his hand again. The sun was bright and Keith had to squint a little as his eyes adjusted to the light.

“So, where are we going?” Keith asked as Lance led them down the street. Lance just hummed as they walked, and Keith made a noise at not being answered, causing Lance chuckle. He sighed a little and leaned into Lance. He squeezed their hands a little. It was a beautiful day, and Keith was happy to be able to spend it with Lance.

Lance had led them a park a few blocks down from Keith’s house. Keith laughed a little, remembering how Lance had brought them there on their first date, despite there being snow on the ground. They’d spent that day having a snowball fight, building snowmen, and making snow angels before Keith complained enough about being cold. They’d gone back to his house and Adam and Shiro had made them hot chocolate and popcorn.

“You brought us to the park?” Keith asked, amusement in his voice. Lance nodded, stopping at the edge where the pavement turned into gravel. Keith looked at him, and saw a mischievous grin. “Lance, what are you planning?” he asked wearily, watching as Lance slowly turned towards. He yelped and laughed as he picked him up bridal style, running into the gravel.

“Lance! Stop! We’re going to fall!” Keith laughed, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding on for dear life. Lance didn’t stop running until he got into the grass. His shoes slid as he stopped suddenly, causing Keith to cling onto him. He laughed as he regained his balance, dropping his arms. Keith all but fell to the ground and he looked up at Lance.

“Looks like the princess survived the trip,” Lance said as he looked back at Keith. Keith stuck his tongue out at him before letting go, taking a step back. Lance laughed and Keith turned his back on him, crossing his arms. “Babe, come on, don’t be like that,” Lance said as he wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist. He refused to give in so easily.

He ducked out of them again and walked past Lance, going to the swings. Gravel crunched under his shoes as he walked, and he heard the slip of rocks as Lance ran after him. He sat on the farthest one, kicking off the ground. He saw Lance sit in the one next to him, lazily swinging. He looked up at Keith expectantly, but Keith still refused to give in.

He swung higher and higher until he felt the wind blowing his hair back. It was a pleasant feeling, and he closed his head, tilting his head back. It felt like he was flying, a weightless feeling overtaking him. It’s what he guess birds felt every day, and he could see why they would choose to fly rather than walk. He opened his eyes again when he felt his weight start to shift in the seat.

Keith slowed his swinging until it was a gentle sway and looked at Lance. There was a loving smile on his face, and he had his phone out, pointed at him. Keith’s face flushed and he looked away, his heart fluttering again. Lance always seemed to do that to him. But it was never an unpleasant feeling. He was honestly happy whenever he felt it.

“I don’t even want to know what I look like in that picture,” Keith said, turning back to look at Lance. Lance smiled and showed Keith his screen. He’d taken a video of Keith swinging. He groaned ducking his head so his hair hid his face. “Did you have to record that?”

“Yes, because you looked so happy,” Lance said. He guessed he could agree with him there. Feeling like he was flying always made him happy. It was similar to how he felt when he was with Lance – weightless, carefree, blissful. He wondered if Lance felt that way when Keith was with him. The smile he had seemed to convince him that Lance was at least happy to be with him.

They spent the afternoon sitting there, Lance telling him about all the adventures and shenanigans he and his siblings had gone on during the summer, and Keith telling him about the different music events he’d been to. Even if Lance didn’t know what he was talking about, he sat there listening as though he did. Keith woke up that morning to someone knocking on his door, and got to end it with someone he loved. It was definitely a good day.

\---

Keith wasn’t quite sure how long he sat there. His head hurt, as well as his heart. At some point he’d started crying. The front of his shirt was wet, sticking to his skin. His neck hurt from being bent forward. The wind stung his skin, the sun no longer there to warm him. He looked up and saw the world drenched in grey light. Vastly different from what he remembered.

He heard gravel crunching under someone’s shoes to his right, and he turned to look over there. He saw Adam, and looked away, guilt eating at him. He heard him sit in the swing next to him, the creaking of the chain indicating a slow swing. Keith bit his lip, knowing he should apologize for what he’d said, but now knowing how to.

“Takashi’s worried about you. He tried to run after you. I told him not to.” Keith heard Adam kick the gravel, heard it scatter in front of them. “He’s going to be upset with me when I get back. I locked him in the garage because he wouldn’t sit.” Adam chuckled and sighed, and Keith risked a glance over at him. He looked solemn, guilt ridden, and it made Keith’s chest clench. He looked away.

“I’m sorry Adam. I shouldn’t have said any of the things I did,” Keith whispered, feeling tears prick his eyes. He ducked his head, his hair blocking his face. His vision grew blurry with tears. “I shouldn’t have said any of it.” His voice cracked a little and he bit his lip, feeling the tears fall. “I’m sorry Adam. I’m so sorry.” A sob ripped out of him at the end, and he dropped his head into his hands.

He didn’t hear Adam say anything, but rather felt a hand on his back, rubbing small circles into it. He didn’t say anything, and Keith didn’t expect him to. He was grateful that he let him cry, even if he didn’t know if he was crying because of the things he’d said to Adam, because of the memory of him and Lance, or because Adam was there, comforting him when he should be mad at him.

“You don’t need to apologize Keith, I know you didn’t mean any of it. I’m sorry for how I reacted,” Adam whispered. Keith glanced over at him, seeing the guilt in his glistening eyes. “Some things are best left unsaid, and we both said things we shouldn’t have.” He watched as tears slipped down Adam’s cheeks, and a sob escaped him.

Adam stood, moving to stand in front of Keith. “Come here,” he said softly. Keith stood, burying his face in Adam’s chest. Adam hugged him tightly, and Keith cried, ugly noises coming from him. He felt Adam’s shoulders shake as he cried, and Keith him back just as tightly. He felt like he was back in high school again, dealing with what the students said about him being gay. But being hugged by Adam was familiar, comforting, made him feel safe.

“If you’re up for it, we can go home. Or we can go to that bookstore you always love to go to,” Adam whispered, his voice shaking a little. Keith took a few deep breaths, pulling away and looking up at him. There was a small smile on his face, and he felt himself smiling a little. He scrubbed at his face as he took a step back, one of Adam’s hands staying on his shoulder.

“I think going to the bookstore would be a good idea. We can find one for Shiro to placate him from being mad,” he said with a chuckle. Adam let out a soft laugh and nodded, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders as they walked to his car. “Thank you for being here,” Keith whispered, leaning into Adam’s side.

“Of course kiddo,” Adam said back, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Keith smiled a little, breaking away to get into the car. Adam got in and started the car, and heat hit Keith. He sighed, closing his eyes as he sank into the seat. Music filtered through the radio, and he opened his eyes again, flipping through stations, stopping when he heard the opening to Africa. He turned and met Adam’s gaze, and wide smile on his face.

“I hear the drums echoing tonight! But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation!” Adam scream sang, Keith losing it in his seat. He fumbled and pulled out his phone, biting his lip at the texts he saw from Shiro, but pulling up Snapchat. He recorded Adam singing, unable to keep himself from laughing. The video ended right before the chorus, and as soon as he sent it to Shiro, Adam took his phone. He looked at Keith, and Keith laughed, playing air drums.

“It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you! There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do! I bless the rains down in Africa! Gonna take some time to do the things we never had!” They sang together, Keith devolving back into laughter as Adam used his phone as a microphone. His phone screen lit up with a snap from Shiro, but Keith was laughing too much to try to grab at his phone.

As the flute solo played, Adam gave him his phone back, and Keith sang along to it, causing Adam to laugh. He started singing again at the chorus came back. “Hurry boy, she’s waiting there for you! It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you! There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do! I bless the rains down in Africa!” They traded lines until the final line came. “Gonna take some time to do the things we never had!” Keith dropped a fourth on the last chord and Adam smiled at him.

“I see that the aural skills classes are helping,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes. Keith stuck his tongue out at him as he smiled. Adam laughed again, turning the radio down a little, starting to drive. Keith opened the snap, seeing a scowling Shiro with humour in his eyes. Keith sent him a quick snap of Adam, telling him they were going to the bookstore and where the spare garage key was before closing out of Snapchat.

He was hesitant to look at his texts, knowing he had some from Lance. Keith took a deep breath, earning a quick glance from Adam. “I’m okay,” Keith said, turning back to his phone. He opened his messages, tapping on Shiro’s first. They were mainly just him asking if he was okay and where he was. He felt a pang at worrying him, but knew Shiro understood.

His hands shook a little as he opened Lance’s texts. There were a few of him just saying he was sorry, but there was one that was longer, a long explanation and apology. Keith bit his lip as he read it, feeling his heart clench as Lance said he never meant to hurt Keith like he had. As Lance said he wanted him to be happy, to not be sad. As Lance ended the text with _I’m so sorry I hurt you, and I want you to know that I’ll never stop loving you._

He felt tears threatening to fall, and he closed his phone, swiping at his eyes. Adam put a hand on his knee, and squeezed it, and Keith sent him a small smile. He turned the music up, closing his eyes and leaning his head again the seat. His breathing was a little shaky, but he was grateful he wasn’t crying again. A small yawn escaped him, and he groaned.

“Adam, can we get coffee? I’m exhausted,” he said, rolling his head to look at Adam. He gave Keith a quick glance, humming a little. Keith gave him his puppy dog eyes, the ones he knew that neither he nor Shiro could resist. Adam laughed a little, shaking his head, and Keith cracked a little and smiled.

“I guess we can. Want to text Shiro and see if he wants any?” Keith gave Adam a look, one eyebrow quirked. “Scratch that, I know he’ll want coffee. Why would I even ask?” Keith mumbled something along the lines of Adam losing his memory in his old age, and Adam gasped, pulling his hand away and placing it over his heart. “I’m not that old!”

“We both know you’re old Adam, just accept that you are,” Keith said, laughing. Adam grumbled, and Keith started laughing harder. He saw Adam smile a little, and he stopped laughing, smiling at him. He was glad that Adam was okay, glad that they were okay, after what he’d said. But he couldn’t get what Adam had said about him and Shiro out of his head.

“Adam, can I ask you something?” Keith said hesitantly. Adam glanced over at him and nodded. He felt fear set in a little, and he had a split second thought that he shouldn’t ask, that it was none of his business. But Adam looked at him again, and he took a deep breath, turning to look out the window. “What happened between you and Shiro?” His voice was small, and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look Adam had.

It was quiet, the only sound that of the radio. Keith heard Adam turn it down, but he didn’t say anything. He felt the car turn and drive a little longer before slowing to a stop. He opened his eyes, seeing the bookstore in front of them. He turned his head, looking at Adam, and part of him wished he’d kept his mouth shut, that he’d never said anything.

Keith could see the beginnings of tears in his eyes, his hands gripping the wheel a little too tightly, as was evident by the tension he saw in them. He opened his mouth to say something, but Adam turned towards him, cutting off any thought he might have had. There was sadness in his smile, regret, guilt, and Keith felt his heart clench.

“You remember that trip that Takashi went on your freshman year, right?” Keith nodded. It’d been an unexpected trip. Shiro hadn’t mentioned anything to him leading up to him leaving. He’d gotten a text while he was in the middle of his theory class saying he was leaving for a music conference.

“He said he was going to a music conference. That much was true, he had gone to a music conference. We were all going to go, he’d found a way to get us all to go. It’s why he never told you anything, it was supposed to be a surprise.” Adam’s voice sounded tight, too high. Keith wanted to reach out, to hug him, but Adam kept talking, rooting Keith to the chair.

“We spent that week planning the trip – where we’d stay, what we’d do outside of the conference. He’d gotten up to make coffee a couple nights before we were supposed to leave, and his phone went off.” Adam bit his lip, closing his eyes as tears trailed down his face. “He’d gotten a text from someone named Curtis, saying how he was excited to see him, and that he had things planned for them.”

“I didn’t know who this Curtis was, and he walked back in to me holding his phone.” He took a shaky breath, and Keith felt something gnawing at his chest. “I’d gotten angry at him, so angry, and he got defensive, saying that Curtis was a colleague of his. But I hadn’t believed him. He’d gotten angry back at me. Said that he wasn’t hiding anything, that I should trust him if I loved him.”

Adam let out a broken laugh, one that was full of tears. “We got into a really bad fight that night. He’d told me I free to leave at any time. I remember taking off my engagement ring and throwing it at him before grabbing my coat and walking out of the house. He hadn’t followed me, and it was a long time before we even spoke again.”

Keith remembered there being those few months where things had been weird. He’d come home and wouldn’t see Adam, and when he asked, Shiro would say it was because Adam was busy with rehearsals, but he’d never tell him for what. He remembered hearing Shiro crying late at night on the weekends, but he’d be up like nothing had happened the previous night, attempting to make breakfast and joking with him.

“Turns out Curtis really had been a colleague, and the things he’d said he had planned were various seminars he wanted to go that he thought Takashi would like,” Adam said quietly, scrubbing at his eyes. “I don’t know if we’ll ever be back to how we were, even if it’s been years.” Keith couldn’t take seeing him so sad. He reached over and hugged Adam, feeling him start before hugging him back.

“I’m so sorry I said those things Adam,” Keith whispered, his throat tight. He could feel his own tears pricking his eyes, and he willed them to stay, not wanting to cry. “I didn’t know, I shouldn’t have said any of it.” Adam chuckled a little, hugging him a little tighter. Keith let him, knowing he needed the hug just as much as Adam did.

They stayed like that for a few minutes longer, and it was Keith who broke the hug first. He pulled back, scrubbing at his eyes, wiping the tears that had yet to fall away. When he looked back at Adam, he saw that he was smiling, the sadness and guilt having faded from his eyes. The knot in his chest loosened a little, and he smiled back, a small one, but one that portrayed the relief he felt.

“Come on, let’s go in and get home soon before Takashi starts losing it,” Adam said, causing Keith to laugh. It was light, soft, and every laugh that escaped him loosened the knot in his chest until it was nonexistent. It made him feel lighter, happier, less like he was going to cry and more like he could smile and not feel like he was forcing it.

He followed Adam into the bookstore, trailing behind him as he did. Adam seemed like he was on a mission, and Keith knew better than to interrupt him. He drank his coffee, letting the warmth seep throughout his body, and he let out a small sigh. It was a pleasant feeling, something he hadn’t realized he’d been longing for until he had it.

\---

The rest of the weekend went by quickly, and Keith agreed to come back to next weekend. While he may have made the agreement grudgingly on the outside, inside he was happy to be able to come back. He may never say it, but he loved being home. Adam and Shiro were there, it was safe, and it was his. The place where he went to bed unhappy and awoke to the sounds of breakfast being made. Woke up to his family.

He walked into his dorm building, making a beeline for the coffee machine in the lobby. It may have been late morning, but Shiro had woken him up early for a “departing breakfast”. Adam had stopped his protests of sleeping in, to the point of physically picking him up and carrying him downstairs. Shiro had taken pictures, and Keith knew half of them had him flipping him off.

The smell of bitter coffee wafted out of the pot, and Keith took a second to stand there and let the scent take over his senses. As much as he liked sweet drinks, bitter coffee was always something he loved. He poured himself a cup, the warmth seeping through the thin paper walls and into his chilled hands. He added a little bit of sugar and creamer before taking a drink and turning.

He almost dropped his coffee as he ran into someone. Keith muttered a “Sorry” before going to swerve around him. But the colour of the scarf made him freeze for a second. Bright blue with strands of gold and white stared at him, and his eyes traveled to the face. His heart started racing a little as he saw it was Lance standing there.

Lance looked a little shocked, but also like he was relieved. It made Keith’s chest feel weird. He could feel panic rising, and his grip on the cup tightened. “Hi Lance,” Keith said, his voice betraying him. He moved his gaze to his cup, willing his feet to move. They stayed frozen where they were.

“Keith, you look good,” Lance said, his voice sounding too soft. “Of course you’ve got a coffee. You’ll get addicted to that stuff you know.” Lance let out a soft laugh, and Keith bit his lip. Everything in him was telling him not to look up, but his body betrayed him, and he did. His eyes met those ocean eyes that had once filled him with happiness.

“Better than other addictions,” he whispered, unable to look away. He couldn’t place the look in his eyes, couldn’t place the emotions swirling around in them. It made him mad, not being able to read him, but not mad enough to overtake the fear he felt.

“How was your weekend?” Lance asked, taking a small step towards him. Keith took a step back, and Lance teetered a little before he settled. Keith’s grip on his coffee grew tighter, and he could feel the cup starting to bend. He busied himself with drinking it to keep it from spilling.

It burned his tongue as he drank, and he almost choked on, and he stood there coughing for a second as he swallowed. He took a deep breath, grateful the coughing fit gave him a reason to look away. “It was okay,” Keith mumbled, coughing at the end. He heard Lance’s shoes shuffle a little, heard him clear his throat.

“Can we talk?” Lance asked hesitantly. Keith had known that’s why he’d come over, why he’d been trying to start a conversation. But that didn’t stop the tears that formed. Didn’t stop the way his chest tightened. Didn’t stop the way his hands shook to the point that he had to put the coffee down. He stood with his back turned, gripping the edge of the table tightly.

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder, and he turned, his tears starting to fall. “Keith, please,” Lance tried. Keith could see regret and guilt on his face. Could see pain his eyes, sadness in his weak smile. It tore at his heart, knowing Lance was hurting. But it hurt more knowing that he’d been in love with someone else while Keith had given him his whole heart.

“I have to go,” Keith whispered, stepping around Lance. He grabbed his arm, and Keith stopped, completely frozen. His heart was racing, faster than he thought possible, and his breathing was starting to become ragged. “Let go,” he whispered. When Lance didn’t, he turned, his anger and fear making his voice rise.

“I said let go!” he shouted, ending in a choked sob. He felt his tears falling, soaking into the collar of his sweater. Lance held on a second longer before letting go, that pain never leaving his eyes. His hand dropped slowly, and his smile had disappeared. Keith turned away. “Have a good life,” he whispered, turning on his heel and walking to the elevator.

He needed to time alone, where no one would see him, and as soon as the elevator doors closed, he sank to the floor, choked sobs leaving him. Keith kept it together long enough to get to his room, but as soon as the door closed, he screamed. Screamed and sobbed and cried. He allowed himself a few minutes to release his emotions, to allow the hurt to hurt.

After that time was up, he picked himself up, wiped his eyes, and changed his clothes into pajamas. He settled on his bed, putting on music, and picking up a book he was assigned to read. He pushed Lance out of his mind, out of his heart, for the time being, and immersed himself in music history. He let the music drown out any thought that wasn’t related to what he was reading.

He left his dorm once that night, to go down to the meal hall to eat. The entire time he ate, he had music blaring. They drowned out any of his thoughts as his music theory knowledge took over, causing him to try to analyze the music. He went back to his room as soon as he was done eating, minimizing the time he’d have to run into Lance.

Normally his nights were spent watching Netflix or reading, but he was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Keith plugged his phone in, turning it to silent, and set his alarm. He wrapped his blanket around him, burying his face in the fabric, and willed himself not to cry. He focused on his breathing, letting sleep take over, letting unconsciousness drown out his thoughts.

\---

Warm sunlight hit his skin as he threw the shades open, squinting a little as he looked outside. Students pulling carts of boxes and totes on dollies to cars. Parents stood outside open trunks, helping their kids place their stuff in them. Others were walking along them, talking as they helped carry stuff. He thought about his first year moving out, and he smiled at the thought

Keith turned back to his room – totes lined up against the wall, boxes stacked on top of them. His bare bed held an assortment of books that he still had to put into his backpack, as well as his laptop and various staff paper books. His sheets laid in a haphazard pile on the floor, and he had yet to find the bag he’d brought them in. He heard his phone ring, causing his music to pause.

“This better be important Shiro, I was jamming to Vivaldi,” Keith said, disconnecting his phone from his speakers that he had yet to pack. He heard Adam laughing on the other end, knowing it was because he knew Keith only listened to _Four Seasons._

“I’m sure _Summer_ can wait. We’re downstairs, come grab a dolly for us,” Shiro said. Keith rolled his eyes, grabbing his keys. He muttered something about listening to _Fall_ and hung up before he could hear Adam laugh again. He didn’t bother with shoes, walking down to the lobby in his socks. He saw various students’ doors open, music pouring out of them as they finished packing. Keith got lucky and found a lone dolly hidden away near the corner.

He grabbed it, going to the front doors. Adam and Shiro were standing outside, and as they saw Keith, they started waving frantically. He stopped short of opening the door, looking out at them. His phone rang, and he knew it was Shiro calling.

“Are you going to let us in?” Shiro asked. Keith saw the irritated façade he had, his eyes betraying the humour his voice so desperately tried to hide. Adam was trying – and failing – to do the same. Keith wrapped his free arm around his chest.

“I don’t know, are we going to go to lunch?” Keith said back, smirking. He saw Adam’s façade break at the mention of food, his always hungry brain taking over. Shiro narrowed his eyes a little, a smile tugging at his lips, and Keith knew he’d won.

“You drive a hard bargain sir, but I guess we can.” Keith smiled triumphantly, and he saw Adam pump his fists. He heard Shiro laugh as he hung up, and he opened the door, swinging the dolly around towards him.

“Your dolly sir,” Keith said, turning on his heel and heading back to his dorm. Adam ran to catch up with him as Shiro headed towards the elevator. Keith knew it was because he didn’t want to try to wrestle the thing up the stairs.

“I take it finals went well for you,” Adam said. Keith hummed, nodding. The passed a room playing Mozart’s _Symphony No.40_ , and it took all of his strength to pull him away from the door. Adam was stubborn and tried to drag Keith back towards it. He was relieved when the song ended and moved on to some pop song.

“You have a serious addiction to this music,” Keith said, a little out of breath. Adam shook his head, grumbling a little as having been pulled away. “You would’ve sat outside that kid’s door if I hadn’t dragged you away.” Adam went to protest, but gave up and nodded.

“It’s not my fault classical music speaks to me,” Adam said, dragging his feet a little. Keith laughed, pulling him along. They got to his dorm just before Shiro did, and he looked done with everything. “What happened to you?”

“I got caught in an elevator listening to some family talking about how there “were too many homosexuals on campus” and that “they should be in a different dorm building than my son”.” He made his voice sound snotty and high pitched, and Adam shook his head. Keith rolled his eyes, remembering hearing that family when he moved in. Their kid actually lived a few doors down.

“I’d like to see what they’d think of their son if they knew what their son had done this year,” Keith said, causing both Shiro and Adam to laugh. Keith chuckled a little and opened the door, moving to his bed to finish packing his stuff. He could hear the totes being moved and placed on the dolly as he searched through his stuff to find the back for his sheets.

“Just give them to me, I’ll carry them,” Adam said, walking up behind him. Keith gave them another look before conceding and moving to let him take them. Keith piled them on top of the box Adam was carrying, and turned back to his bed, methodically putting them in his bag to get them to fit.

He stacked his speakers on top of everything and zipped his bag up. He shouldered it and grabbed a few boxes, following Shiro and Adam down to the elevator, choosing to take that instead. Keith was humming _Fall_ as the elevator moved, and Shiro used a free hand to conduct along with his humming. Adam was tapping his fingers along, and Keith guessed he was fingering the notes.

They took a side door to their car, and Keith saw Lance walking in the opposite direction. They’re eyes caught each other, and for a second it seemed like the world was frozen. But the moment ended quickly and they were moving again. Keith turned to watch him, but Lance was quick to turn away. He felt a slight flutter in his chest tamped it down, smiling to himself as he did.

“What’s got you smiling?” Shiro asked as Keith got to the car. Keith bobbed his head back and forth, humming a little. Shiro gave him a curious look, but he saw Adam shake his head as he moved around him, placing the box in the trunk. He nodded, and Keith placed the boxes next to the ones Adam had. He got into the backseat, settling into the seat as Shiro and Adam finished packing his stuff.

He’d be back in a few weeks for a music camp, and his building officials let him key to his room. It was a comforting thought, to think how far he’d come this year. How much he’s moved on from everything that’s happened. He may get that flutter in his chest sometimes, but he was always able to tamp it down. Adam and Shiro got in the car, and he let the music and car movement lull him into a peaceful daze as his mind drifted into what his summer would hold.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy cow, I can't believe I actually finished this. It started as something small, and turned into... this. I really am proud of this. Proud of how everything came out. Proud of how everything is written. Just proud of everything. I really hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.


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